


permanent scars

by tomlinseason



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fighting, I dont really know, M/M, Sad, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 08:53:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomlinseason/pseuds/tomlinseason
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>basically louis is sad and harry is broken and they're fighting and this is really angsty and sad and im sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	permanent scars

"theyre still not convinced," louis mutters under his breath. he sits down on the edge of the bed next to harry.  
harry sighs, "im convinced."  
louis turns to face him, "what do you mean?"  
"im just saying you seem to be acting quite the role with her," harry air quotes 'acting'.  
"you know why," louis sighs again, he's been doing that a lot lately.  
they've been overworked, the whole band has, but louis and harry most. its hard now. everythings difficult and over complicated.  
"idontwantthisanymore," harry rushes out in one breath.  
louis looks him in the eyes, "what?"  
"louis i dont know if i want this anymore," harry keeps his gaze on the ground. after no reply, he looks up, and sees louis looking past him, in thought, unblinking.  
"louis?" harry whispers. his pulse is racing, and he doesnt know what he shouldve said or how he shouldve said it but now he cant take it back and hes basically ruined everything and their whole relationship was already struggling and he just strained the string even more and asdnclsjhk.  
louis looks at his lap and smiles a humorless grin. the chuckle he releases is a strangling gas through harry's body, trembling every tendon he has.  
"you're joking, right?" louis starts, "after two years of me having to act out a relationship for us. after two years of me having to lie to everyone about who i am. about who /you/ are to me." a pause that adds pressure to harry's ribs. "well what about the tattoos harry? what do you reckon i do with them? what about every fucking drop of ink we splattered on our bodies permanently. actually, how about the scars? /those/ will be permanent too, wont they, harry? how about every time i had to come home and see you hurting yourself? or crying?" louis' chest was rising and falling more exaggeratedly and harry's mind was whirling and he didnt mean to start this. "what about the girls you had to be seen with? and the rumors? and after fighting for so long, you can't give up. you can't fucking do that, after all i've done for us."  
harry stands up, "well what about me? you said it yourself, two years of lies and me killing myself over it. for two years, louis!" the tears he had been scolding to stay behind were overflowing now, falling, creating beautiful streaks along this beautiful boy's face, a face that shouldnt be crying.  
louis shouts, "i dont fucking like to hurt you! what the hell do you think this is harry? im not trying to hurt you, im trying to protect us!"  
"well you are! you're hurting me! you're doing nothing but hurt me! thats all it is now! pain, louis- why am I the bad one if I dont want this anymore!?" tears were getting in the way of his speech, crawling down his face in laughing feats, forcing his vulnerability to be mocked and shown. shown to someone who causes him pain. which is even more painful. because louis doesnt deserve to see this, the vulnerable identity of him, he fiercely wipes them away. but, oh. how louis wills them and basically calls   
their name. but, oh. how louis wants to kiss them away.  
"you think you're the only one hurting here?" louis cries, desperately trying for harry to see. but harry is too blind to see, because hes trying to get louis to see. and its all just a big show and tell and everyone listens but no one /understands/. and theyre both hurting but louis is trying for defiantly hurt while harry is trying for crushingly hurt. and harry wants it so badly and louis wants it too badly and they're taking too much time fighting for it that there is no time for loving. and harry finally makes the first step towards louis and louis feels arms around him. and its a hug. and louis smiles a bit, because harry /finally/ sees. but, oh. its a hug goodbye. "maybe we can try again later," harry mutters into louis' shoulder. and, oh. louis' smile is gone. but harry is gone quicker. and louis is left with tears trickling down his beautiful face. a face that doesnt deserve to be crying. and louis is screaming at the door, but harry is gone. louis is aching for him, but he needs to scream. he doesnt scream profanities. or insults. but he screams that he loves him, and he hopes someone can hear him from this stupid flat. he hopes there is someone listening. he needs someone to know. and he wants to punch himself for not kissing harrys tears away. and he wants to punch harry for not kissing his own tears away. and, oh. he remembers something harry whispered to him one night. when they were in love and happy.   
"sometimes people are inlove, but aren't meant to be together." and louis feels more burning tears staining his beautiful face. because harry said that they werent like that. harry said they were inlove and were meant to be together.

but, oh.


End file.
